The Battle of the Apocalypse
The following is an epic poem, from an unknown author. This is the tale of the Sporum's doom, a mythic cycle and an account of the clash of the gods. The Coming of MaxisBazajaytee It was the Great Spam War whose clatter was so loud it shook the heavens. MaxisBazajaytee descended onto the surface of the Sporum and graced the peasants with his presence. He had responded to the ruin which he saw, and saw that it was very bad. He did many great things. Many great, but terrible things. He gifted many of the mortals with featured creations. He even disabled flash on the Sporums--a bane to many innocent threadgoers. No longer could DarkLord and his minions plague the threads with the sounds of screeching harmonicas to the tune of the Jurassic Park theme song. And finally, MaxisBazajaytee defeated DarkLord. A feat so few could do. No SporeMaster had tamed this beast before. But it was SporeMasterSlime who prayed earnestly day in and day out for this day to come. And lo! MaxisBazajaytee hearkened, and hearing Slime's plea vowed to vanquish this flourishing foe! DarkLord was given a 10,000 day ban. The kingdom of darkness had seemingly been defeated. And the sinful masses mourned for him. Nay, I say, nay! For never is DarkLord truly defeated! In much witchery, DarkLord was resurrected from the abyss. He took on many new incarnations, being slain over and over again by MaxisBazajaytee. Finally, DarkLord flees into the shadows and disappears. For a time. The Coming of ThatDzM Hark! For the second Maxis admin had come. The heavens shook and the land trembled. The mute god, ThatDzM descended. With him came power of Jforum, although not much competence. For with all his power, he lacked wisdom--as did his companion, MaxisBazajaytee. For they could not decipher the secret behind the ancient craft of Jforum. They could not uncover the code, nor understand such powerful magic. For with Jforum, much power is not needed--but wisdom is essential. DarkLord, for years, had no power, but was wise enough to use the ancient magic to swindle the children of Spore into shitposting their souls into oblivion. So much so that the threads were piled in the thread graveyard, and the land stunk with their stench. No such wisdom did the admins have. And thus, their anger was roused. Kyle's Revelation Now an oracle had come to SporeMasterDOGC_Kyle, revealing to him the new plans of MaxisBazajaytee. And Kyle wept at this oracle, for it was grim. For it said, "Thus sayeth the admins of Spore! Behold, 'The Sporum will be shut down.'" And Kyle told only his most trusted allies. This was GalvinNerth and a few others. And then, Kyle ventured into the darkness and sought out DarkLord, to tell him. The Battle for Armageddon There was blood mingled with fire. For DarkLord arose with his companions and spread his cancer across the face of the Sporum. DarkLord spammed pictures of Disney's Sullivan masturbating, as well as a cornucopia of giraffe porn. The oceans of spam quaked at the very might of DarkLord's newfound power. He used his scepter of Chrome autorefresh to summon a tsunami of PM spam upon his enemies. The land trembled. The heavens screeched. Fire and hail rained down. And DarkLord sought the land and all of its inhabitants, to find and destroy MaxisBazajaytee. "Wherefor art thou, Baza? O Sporum! Where be thy gods now?" DarkLord shouted. And MaxisBazajaytee hearkened and stooped down from his throne. He waged war with the antichrist, the prince of darkness, the king of the trolls. And DarkLord was killed many times, each time gaining more power and doing more damage. He began to spread his scourage of giraffe homosexuality into the very hearts of mortals. Soon, their minds were pierced with his infamy. Everyone was fapping to bird screams. Quickly rose ThatDzM from his throne and joined the battle. For Baza was nigh defeated, and DarkLord's haughty shouts of victory had reigned in the heavens. Now, ThatDzM was skilled in the art of IP block. And he hunted DarkLord into the wilderness, weakening him much. For with each incarnation DarkLord took, ThatDzM found it and obliterated it. And the weakened cries of DarkLord echoed throughout the dens of spammers and thieves. For no one could help the fallen one. And no one could save the king of the blacks. Then, DarkLord was reduced to his last body. His soul shards had been destroyed. His horcruxes, gone. And his ancient magic had been taken from him. For ThatDzM destroyed the linkbomb, disabling Jforum's exploitation loopholes. DarkLord was left feeble and mortal. DarkLord took one last stand, running into the eye of ThatDzM with fierce hatred. Nay, he did not survive. For DarkLord was finally slain and thrown into the abyss. The land was quiet, but the tears of the trolls were plentiful and their hearts were heavy. And many moons passed and there was no hope. The gods would soon destroy the Sporum. The Exodus One day, a voice from the heavens spoke. " To better support the dedicated community of SPORE users we will be moving the Sporum from forum.spore.com to EA’s Answers HQ. All users are encouraged to join the new forum at https://answers.ea.com/t5/Spore/ct-p/spore-en. " There was much sorrow and panic. Disarray was everywhere. And the migration had begun. SporeMasterDOGC_Kyle and SporeMasterxDoomsoulx were prepared to move the mortals into the world of Discord, and to continue to keep their species alive. The end was nigh, and Ragnarok was upon them. The shutdown was scheduled for August 15th, 2018. The Final Judgment It was Sarah Burkhamm (midnight1999) who took to telling ThatDzM about the voice of DarkLord, which the trolls had contacted from beyond the veil of the abyss. They could hear his whispers, as he told them to attack the gods on the final day. And lo! As the hordes of spammers and trolls were readying themselves for war, before twilight, on the 14th of August, the Sporum was frozen. Forever. It was before expected. And the kingdoms of darkness were silenced. The Sporum now rests in peace. And this is the tale of armageddon. Of the death of our world, the death of the king of trolls, and the evil gods. Category:The Book of Sporum